Thursday, June 4, 2009

Sad...

Today was a very sad day at work. It went like this:

I woke up and struggled to get ready for my 'B-day' (my least favorite of my 2 rotations of classes). I finally got out to my car and realized...Ugh, I forgot to put on deodorant ...ran back upstairs to fix that slightly important detail. Got to school and settled into my storageclosetforanoffice. Made myself a cup of tea, shut my door and got mentally ready for my first crazy class of the day (I have a lot of competing personalities in that class which always make for an interesting morning...). There was a knock on the door- one of my students inviting me to come with her to meet a congressman that she is having lunch with on Monday. She won a contest for her self-portrait she did in my class and was selected to meet a congressman. "That was nice of her..." I thought. The bell rang, time to go.


I got to my first class and started a review for the art final next week, my students kept talking...at least they weren't arguing...Made it through my powerpoint of artist slides- Seurat. Passed out their project paper and they got to work.


The principal came over the speakers at 9:14, "Teachers, check your email accounts for an important email I just sent out- carry through with the instructions. Thank you."


Oh Crap. The kids knew something was up...I checked my email...


Please read to the class at 9:20...a 10th grader...found dead...unsure of cause...offer help to students...send to counselors if needed. I am shaking. I have 4 minutes until I have to tell thirty 14-16 year olds that their friend, their peer, is dead and I don't know why...


"What is it Mrs. Haggerty?? Why cant you tell us yet?"


"I will tell you in a couple of minutes, keep working on your project."


"Is it bad??"


"Yes...I will tell you soon. Please don't worry."


It is 9:19...I have to do this...


I read them the letter I was instructed to read. I tried to be calm. I read the name of the student. I could hear the sighs, the oh-no's, the tears. Some kids got their yearbooks out to see if they knew the student. I looked around to survey how they were handling it. I saw tear stained cheeks. Kids who are normally outgoing, sitting with their heads down. Crying. Whispers could be heard. Talking about the possibility of drugs...suicide...


After I got through that class and left for my office, I saw kids clumped throughout the hall, holding each other. Administration coming though to get kids who were too upset to go to class. I walked to the office. The counseling office was filled, kids with red, swollen faces were waiting for parents to come get them.


The rest of the day was very somber.

***


This is one of those days where I can feel the weight of my job...I am so sad that I had to tell the kids about this...they are so young and shocked about the reality and fragility of life...Sorry guys...







Seurat

2 comments:

Akirah said...

Kaylee...how awful. I am fighting back tears right now. Things like this make it difficult to see God, but I pray He'll give you the strength to be there for your kids. Thanks for sharing.

Jen Lula said...

This is a very very hard thing to deal with. We had an 8th grader commit suicide last year and it effected our whole school for a very long time. I work in a 7-12 high school. I had a very hard time having to read what I can only assume is a very similar to my students last year. I cried. It was tough. You really do feel the weight of what you need to be at that moment. The strong one for these kids- someone that they can come to, that they can lean on. Its always very rewarding at the same time- its just hard to see in that moment. Good luck with all that is ahead of you in the next couple weeks.

Thanks for stopping by jenlovevskev. I guess we do have a lot in common!